I was a rebellious teenager. During my senior year of high school, I moved out of my parent’s house because they had “too many rules” that I was “too cool” to follow. I moved in with my then-best friend and her mom and got a less than part-time job at Abercrombie Kids. I skipped school more times than I can count & made my own (stupid) decisions. I thought I was GROWN. Little did I know, I was about to find out what being grown really was. Two months after my 18th birthday, I was in the bathroom looking at two red lines on a stick. Oh shit. I was pregnant.
My decision to continue with my pregnancy was impetuous – like most of my decisions back then. Looking back, it was almost like I didn’t take being pregnant seriously. I didn’t think about what it would mean for my future or the future of my child. I didn’t have a reason for wanting to keep my baby. The situation was just kind of whatever to me. I was in such a nonchalant state regarding everything in my life.
Even though I am baffled at my attitude towards such a serious situation, in a sense, I am glad. I feel like if I would have thought it through too much – I may not have gone through with it. And if I didn’t look into those big brown beautiful eyes on November 4, 2009, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.
Getting pregnant in high school saved my life.
I know that sounds crazy. And you probably wouldn’t believe me unless you yourself got pregnant at a time when your life was spiraling out of control – and quickly.
The girl I was before I got pregnant was irresponsible. She was reckless. Careless. Promiscuous. She woke up with no sense of direction and went to sleep no purpose. She smoked & drank. She followed the crowd. She sought acceptance from others rather than a relationship with God. She had no respect for herself or for those who cared about her. She made bad decisions – one after another. She was out of control. The worst part is – she didn’t even realize how out of control she was, so it was only bound to get worse.
Getting pregnant in high school was my wake-up call.
Getting pregnant forced me to be responsible. Life wasn’t about skipping school, staying out late, or what boy liked me that week. None of that stuff even mattered. I was now responsible for this little human and there was no way in hell I was going to let her down.
Getting pregnant taught me respect. Not only did I begin to respect myself, but I gained respect for my mom & dad. It took me becoming a mother myself to realize everything my parents taught me was out of pure love.
Getting pregnant gave me drive. My daughter became my reason to get up in the mornings and make something out of myself – no matter what bricks were thrown my way. Giving up was no longer an option.
Getting pregnant strengthened my relationship with God. I knew there was no way I could do this motherhood thing without His guidance, support, and love.
Getting pregnant helped me make better decisions. Long gone were the days of spontaneous and spur of the moment choices. Every single decision I made in life had a consequence that wasn’t just affecting me anymore.
Getting pregnant taught me the true meaning of love. Having my daughter showed me what is like to love someone more than you love yourself. A love with no limits or expectations. A love so indescribable that no amount of words could come close to describing what a mother feels for her child.
Getting pregnant in high school was a blessing.
There’s really no telling what would have happened if I didn’t get pregnant. I imagine I would have gone off to college and continued to misuse my freedom. I probably would have made an immeasurable amount of reckless decisions and found myself in a much worse situation than having a baby at 18.
Of course, getting pregnant in high school wasn’t ideal, but it was what I needed to put me back on the right track. The road that God intended me to be on all along. Not saying that since I’ve had my daughter I’ve been perfect because I am so far from it. I still make mistakes. The difference is when I make mistakes now they are growing pains, learning lessons, and strong pushes towards progression.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that God is an expert at bringing the good out of bad situations. He can make a blessing out of anything and that’s exactly what He did for me with my pregnancy.
How did becoming a mother change you? Did you get pregnant at a young age? I would love to hear your stories in the comments!
Also, if you’re a mom who likes supporting other mamas I would love for you to join my private Facebook group, Mom and Beyond. Mom and Beyond is a motherhood support group where moms in all different stages of life come together to interact, support, encourage, and uplift each other. You can request to join by clicking here!
Having a my first as a grown up changed my life completely, I can imagine what a huge change it was for your as a teenager. I am glad it was a positive change. You are a great mum… i can tell from reading your blog. Lovely post xx